Proofread by a Dyslexic

I recently finished reading a book called how to be women by Catlin Moran. It was funny and feminist in a way that I don’t think many pieces are any more, epically the funny part. One of my favorite jokes that I used to use to wind up my mother is, how many feminist does it take to change a light bulb? The answer of course is “that’s not funny” but feminism should be funny, it should have a sense of humor, people remember jokes and respond in positive ways.

 There are allot of feminist articles out there, I was recently reading an article on a web site called “the vagenda” which was about violent sexual language and its damaging effects. Yet hidden in this article, mid rant about the importance of equality in language was this “but as the father of a man who thinks it’s OK to beat his woman”. His women? I’m sorry did I miss the point of the article? I find it depressing that even in an article about the langue the author refers to the woman as his. Why does she belong to him?

Having a chat with some friends in the pub the other night I came across a similar phenomenon, my perfectly normal friend and her bloke sat there in the pub and said flat out that they thought that feminism was wrong and that they didn’t agree with it.  “It’s not a proper social movement really “they said over their pints smiling widely at each other. There seems to me to be confusion as to what feminism is. Feminism is not the same thing, as Caitlin Moran would say as “stuff to do with women”. Feminism is not about forcing women to work instead of looking after their children it is about their choice, whether that is to stay at home or work it doesn’t matter; the clincher is in the choosing.

My colleague recently involved me in a debate that she was having with a college on the green party board in her home town in Sweden. She was having a discussion about raising children in a gender neutral environment. Her views were met by rabid ant- feminism, based on little of knowledge of the subject. “We cannot have feminists in our party (the green part) and expect to care about equality. Feminism has such huge flaws in its ideology, and almost all normal individuals have distanced themselves from it. We are a modernist party and our equality policy will not build in the 60s as feminism has not evolved one iota since then.”

I find it scary that sociology major can have such little knowledge of the subject of feminism and yet be so against it. It’s as if it is now cool to be anti- feminist. Feminism is synonymous to equality. That’s what he doesn’t understand, it’s not about woman taking what men have it’s simply about them wanting to have the same thing. I love to have the door held open for me, bye shoes and have a good old bitch down the pub with my friends AND I shave my armpits! This does not make me antifeminist. All feminist are asking for is to be treated with the same politeness and respect as men, they’re not asking to storm the houses of parliament with their hairy arm pits a-waving in the wind and take over, just to be treated equally.

Valentine’s Day has always seemed like a strange tradition to me. First and foremost, if you actually look at the history behind it, it is a twisted and gruesome tale of death, blood and torture, not an overpriced and slightly odd excuse to spent your hard earned cash on a day featuring an overweight man with a 5 o’clock shadow in a nappy.

When I was a child valentine’s day never  featured much in our house hold, I was vaguely aware that my dad would buy my mum a humorous card, (I remember one with a women with her boobs out in bed with a cat) and outside our four walls  there would be an obscene amount of pink and red everywhere but other than that this day by and large passed me by.

In school Valentines Day was a trauma, a day to pray that no one would send you anything while secretly hoping that they would, while at the same time being forced to listen to endless amounts or Robbie Williams forever playing on the radio. As an adult one thing hasn’t changed, there is still enough Robbie Williams playing around the place to make even his mother sick of it, but nowadays rather than a day of secret hopes and nerves Valentine’s Day has become an annoyance.

Now before you start to assume in the vein of such movies as the ugly truth staring Jarred Butler, that I am one of these hopelessly single girls who would probably enjoy valentine’s day if only *sighs*  if only, she could get a boyfriend, I have in fact, never had much trouble not being single on valentine’s day. I have a perfectly lovely boyfriend who (as long as there is still a promise of steak and blowjob day on the 14^th of March) would be perfectly happy to drown me in chocolates and cocoon me in flowers if I so desired.

No, the problem I have with Valentine’s Day is that it seems to be to be a loose, loose situation. If, and especially as a woman you are so hopeless and unfortunate as to be single on valentine’s day then it becomes a day to dread. My female colleagues start talking about their anti Valentine’s Day parties in which they are going to drink gin and talk about what horrid scoundrels men are. They spend hours organising defiantly not pity parties and convincing them selves’ that their lives are still worth living. But what I want to know is why on this one day of the year does it suddenly become the worst thing in the world as a woman to be single?

Friends who for the rest of the year love being single and abhor all those other  women who have to be in a relationship become snivelling wrecks when that one dread day comes around, and swear to themselves that next year, next year they are going to have ‘found’ someone.

This brings me to my second gripe at valentine’s day as valentine’s day is no better when you are in a couple. Now on purpose to avoid this, much to boys disgust, I have avoided this day like the plague. If you do happen at this arbitrary date to be in a couple, if you are not careful it becomes one of those days, like New Years which are loaded with- expectations- it’s going to be marvellous its going to be magical and most of all you’re going to find out if he really cares. The consequences of this, unlike the New Year where a bad night will mean you end up with your head in a toilet by half 10, no, a bad valentine’s results in pointless arguing and needless money spent on tat.

Much better to avoid the whole thing, stay in and spend it on the more important things, like beer and shoes.